Baby sleep training: When and how to start

What is sleep training?

Sleep training is the process of helping a baby learn to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night without comforting from you. The goal of sleep training is to help your baby learn to self-soothe when they're put to bed awake, or when they wake up in the middle of the night.

Some babies do this quickly and easily. Others have trouble settling down to sleep – or getting back to sleep when they've awakened – and need help along the way. We describe several main approaches below: Cry it out, Ferber, fading, chair method, the wave, and gentle sleep training.

For more help sleep training your baby, including three different sleep training programs from a pediatric sleep doctor (so you can choose the best method for your family), check out Baby Sleep 101 from BabyCenter CoursesOpens a new window.

When can I start sleep training?

Most experts recommend starting baby sleep training when your little one is between 4 and 6 months old. By about 4 months, babies are able to learn to sleep by themselves and don't yet have a dependence on being rocked to sleep. By 6 months, babies have started to develop a regular sleep-wake cycle, and they can go through the night without a feeding. These are signs they may be ready to start sleep training. Many babies at this age are also developmentally able to sleep for long stretches at night.

Of course, every baby is different: Some may not be ready for sleep training until they're a bit older. Some babies sleep through the night – that is, for a stretch of six hours or longer – starting at 2 or 3 months of age, while others won't until much later. If you're not sure whether your baby is ready for sleep training, ask their doctor.

Sleep training methods

There are many different ways to teach your baby healthy sleep habits. Choose the sleep training technique that you're most comfortable with, and one you think your child will respond well to.

While researchers continue to debate the merits of various sleep-training options, consistency appears to be more important than technique. A review of 52 sleep studies using various methods published in the journal Sleep found almost all the techniques were effective if applied consistently.

Choose a sleep training method you can live with and follow through on. Be consistent but flexible about how you apply it, and carefully observe how your baby reacts. If your baby is very resistant or you see a change for the worse in their overall mood and behavior, stop and wait a week or so before trying again or choosing another approach. Know that there will be nights your baby sleeps better than others, but that you'll eventually make progress.

Most sleep training methods follow one of a few basic approaches:

Cry it out (CIO)

Proponents of the CIO sleep-training method, also known as extinction sleep training, say it's okay for your child to cry when you put them to bed and leave the room. The idea is that responding to a baby's cries after a certain period of time reinforces the behavior, so they'll learn to cry longer the next time to eventually get picked up.

With CIO, you'll go through your regular nighttime routine (reading, lullaby, cuddles, etc.) and put your baby to bed when they're still awake. If your baby cries – they may not – you won't pick them up. In fact, you won't go back into your baby's room until the morning (or their next scheduled feeding), with the idea that your baby will eventually tire out and go to sleep.

The key to CIO is not going in to comfort your baby, as long as you know they're well-fed, in a dry diaper, and aren't sick or injured. This method can be difficult for parents, but it typically works the quickest: Parents can usually expect to see results in a few nights at most.

Most experts say that letting your baby cry at bedtime isn't harmful in the long term, as long as they get plenty of love and attention in the daytime. And CIO is an effective method for teaching babies the important skill of falling asleep on their own, as long as you're consistent. However, some parents find CIO too emotionally taxing and have a hard time letting their baby cry. If this is the case for you, one of the other baby sleep-training methods may be a better choice.

Learn more about cry it out sleep training. 

Ferber method

While many studies suggest both methods are safe and effective, parents who find CIO too harsh or difficult to implement may prefer the Ferber method.

Also known as graduated extinction, the Ferber method is similar to CIO in that you'll allow your baby to cry when falling asleep. However, instead of letting your baby cry without comfort until the next morning, you'll go back into your baby's room to reassure them with a pat on the back and a few soothing words.

With this method, you'll check on your crying baby at set times: For example, every 5, 10, or 15 minutes. Or you may opt for increasingly longer intervals (say every 2, 4, 6 minutes, etc.) over one night or a series of nights.

Whatever timing you choose, the key is to be consistent and to keep interactions brief (up to a minute or so) and as calm as possible. Avoid picking up, cuddling, or feeding your baby, which may encourage them to cry for attention at night.

The Ferber method was developed by pediatrician Richard Ferber, the former director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital Boston. As with CIO, Ferber says that babies have to learn to soothe themselves in order to fall asleep on their own and sleep through the night.

Learn more about Ferber sleep training. 

The wave

This method, outlined in the 2014 book The Happy Sleeper, is a gentler type of extinction sleep training that's most similar to the Ferber method. It can be an especially good strategy for babies ages 9 months or older, who may experience sleep regressions because they have separation anxiety when you leave the room at night.

With the sleep wave method, you'll follow your usual bedtime routine. If your baby cries when you leave the room, you'll briefly check in after 5 minutes with a scripted mantra (such as, "Mama's right next door. I love you. You can do this."). You'll keep checking in every 5 minutes with the same mantra until they fall asleep.

The key with the sleep wave method is to say your mantra calmly and confidently, then leave quickly – each check-in should take about 10 seconds. You shouldn't pick up your baby or make too much of a fuss. The goal is to reassure your baby that you're still there, without encouraging them to cry for attention and cuddles.

The chair method

Also known as camping out, with the chair method you'll gradually diminish your bedtime role. To start, you'll go through your nighttime routine and put your baby in their crib drowsy but awake. You'll then sit in a chair next to your baby's crib. If your baby cries, you'll give them a pat on the back and say a few reassuring words without picking them up.

Once your child is settled, you'll move your chair farther from the crib and sit down. You'll repeat these steps as necessary until your child falls and stays asleep. Alternately, you can keep the chair in the same position for the night and gradually move it a bit farther from the crib each night, until your baby can fall asleep without you in the room.

Similar to the extinction methods, the goal of the chair method is to give your baby time to figure out how to self-soothe. This will take longer, but is often easier for parents who aren't comfortable letting their babies cry.

The fading method

Parents who find extinction sleep-training methods too unpleasant may find the fading method more appealing. It's not a sleep-training method, exactly, but a way to adjust your baby's sleep schedule.

With the fading method, you'll help get your baby used to a bedtime that works for your family. First, you'll progressively move your baby's bedtime later to find the time when they fall and stay asleep most easily. For example, if your baby cries when you put them to bed at 8 p.m., you'll move bedtime to 8:30 p.m.

Once you find your baby's bedtime sweet spot, you'll move that time up by 15 minutes every night or two until you eventually hit your ideal bedtime. You'll also wake your baby up in the morning at a scheduled time, if necessary, and avoid unscheduled daytime naps.

This method is often used with other sleep-training strategies to help get babies on a better sleep schedule. Research suggests that it's as effective as the Ferber method, decreasing the time it takes for a baby to fall asleep as well as the number of nighttime awakenings.

Learn more about the fading method.

Gentle sleep training

If you can't stand hearing your baby cry, a no-tears approach may be best. You can soothe your baby to sleep and offer comfort right away when they do wake up. It's important to keep these interactions as brief and calm as possible – put your baby back down and leave the room as soon as they settle.

This approach takes time and patience, although parents may find it's less stressful. Many combine it with the Ferber method, allowing their babies to cry for prescribed periods of time until they come in and pick them up.

Learn more about gentle sleep training. 

How to sleep train a baby

No matter which approach you use, set the stage for success with these suggestions:

Introduce a bedtime routine. Start a bedtime routine when your baby is as young as 6 weeks old, but don't worry if they're older – it's never too late. A routine can include a warm bath, a book, and a lullaby before putting your baby to bed.

Follow a predictable daytime schedule. Try to get your baby up around the same time every morning, and feed them and put them down for naps at about the same times during the day. This consistency and predictability helps your baby to relax and feel secure, and a relaxed baby settles down to sleep more easily.

Create a safe sleep environment. Your baby should always sleep on their back in their own crib or bed, on a firm mattress with a tight-fitting sheet and no blankets, bumpers, or toys.

Know the signs your baby is tired. These include eye rubbing, yawning, and fussiness, which may happen as early as 6 to 7 p.m. If you put your baby down when they're just starting to show signs of being tired, they won't be overtired and fighting sleep.

Choose the right moment. Sleep train during a period that's relatively calm for your family, and ideally when a partner or other loved one is around to help. It's upsetting to hear your baby cry (and exhausting to soothe them throughout the night), which is why having another person around is often key to successful sleep training.

Teach your baby to self-soothe. Put your baby down to sleep when they're drowsy but still awake, so they learn the valuable skill of soothing themselves to sleep without needing to be rocked or held. Your baby can stay in the same room as you, but not in the same bed. (Co-sleeping is linked to an increased risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and worse sleep for both parents and babies.)

Don't respond to every noise. Babies can be noisy sleepers! If your baby wakes during the night and starts grunting, babbling, or even fussing or crying, it's okay to give them an opportunity to self-soothe instead of immediately responding.

Keep calm if you do respond. Keep the lights low and speak softly so your baby understands nighttime isn't playtime.

Be patient and consistent. Sleep training usually takes three to four nights, but it can take anywhere from one night to two weeks, depending on the method. If you've just started a sleep training method, try to give your baby a week to get used to this new way of falling asleep – and be sure both you and your partner are on the same page and stick to the same schedule.

Know when to try something new. Not every sleep training method works for every family. If you've tried one method and aren't making progress after at least a week, or if a method just feels too stressful for you, go with your gut. Give it a rest and try another method in a few days.

Make sure your baby doesn't have a medical condition that could affect their sleep. For most babies, sleep troubles are linked to not having learned how to fall and stay asleep. However, rarely an underlying condition, such as sleep apnea, colic, or reflux, could be the cause behind frequent awakenings or other sleep troubles. If your baby doesn't respond after you consistently follow a sleep training method for two weeks, or if you're concerned that your baby might have an underlying condition that's interfering with sleep, talk to their doctor.

Benefits of sleep training

Sleep training – especially the methods that involve some amount of crying – can be especially challenging for parents. But they're often worth the struggle because of many potential benefits.

Following successful sleep training, babies will:

• Take less time to fall asleep.
• Wake fewer times during the night.
• Learn how to fall back asleep on their own when they do wake up.
• Have better-quality sleep.

Meanwhile, parents will:

• Sleep more.
• Get higher-quality sleep.
• Be in a better mood.
• Encourage secure attachment with their babies – in fact, some research suggests the baby-parent bond is slightly improved after successful sleep training.

Do I have to try baby sleep training?

No. Parents often decide to try a particular method because they're exhausted or frustrated by their child's sleep habits, and nothing they've tried on their own seems to work. If you're happy with the way things are going, count your blessings and continue with what you're doing.

Families have a different expectations and tolerances for baby sleep training. A 9-month-old who wakes up twice a night might have one set of parents tearing their hair out while another family wouldn't have it any other way. If sleep isn't going well for your family, you'll know it – and you can call your baby's doctor for help or read up on methods devised by experts.

Here are a few things to consider:

• Some children are naturally easy sleepers, and before too long they fall into a sleep pattern that everyone's happy with. Others are naturally fussy or wakeful and may need more structure – or more nurturing – to help them sleep well.
• Every child, even within the same family, is different. So if the sleep strategies you used with your first child aren't working with the next one, you may need some new ideas.
• Sometimes common sense is the best method. Families often develop their own ways of getting their kids into good sleep habits. If it works, keep going.
• No one sleeps through the entire night without waking. We all have sleep cycles that involve periods of deep sleep and periods of lighter sleep, and waking (whether or not we're conscious of it) occurs throughout the night. So don't expect your baby to sleep soundlessly through every night, even after you've been successful with sleep training.
• Even after sleep training is over, expect your child to regress occasionally, like when they get sick or when you're travelling. Sleep regression is common in babies and toddlers and may even require another round of sleep training.