Kids' jokes: 71 hilarious riddles, puns, and knock knocks

As your little one's sense of humor progresses, so does the fun. Here are dozens of family-friendly jokes – from classic knock-knocks to silly riddles – to share with your child, take to playdates, or bust out at the dinner table.

two men playing with little happy girl in a park
Photo credit: / svetikd

16 knock-knock jokes for kids

These jokes follow the classic structure: "Knock, knock," "Who's there?" followed by giggles.

Pizza who?
Pizza really great guy!

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Beets who?
Beets me!

Interrupting sheep.
Interrupting, sheep wh—?

Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!

Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!

Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It's freezing out here!

Europe who?
No, I'm not. You're a poo!

Water who?
Water you asking me so many questions for!

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Canoe who?
Canoe come out and play?

Pecan who?
Pecan somebody your own size!

Avenue who?
Avenue heard this joke before?

Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly. Cows go "moo!"

Ash who?
Bless you!

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Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, there's no point!

Figs who?
Fix your doorbell, it's broken!

Dewey who?
Dewey have to keep listening to these knock-knock jokes?

27 punny riddles

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours?
A: Nacho cheese!

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet.

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Q: How do you smuggle candy into a movie theater?
A: With a few Twix up your sleeve.

Q: What do boats do when they are sick?
A: They go to the doc.

Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
A: Pencil-vania.

Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam!

Q: What do you call a fake spaghetti noodle?
A: An impasta!

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Q: How do you make a Kleenex dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it.

Q: What did the sushi say to the bee?
A: Wasabi!

Q: Who is the penguin's favorite aunt?
A: Aunt Artica.

Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
A: You're a fun-guy.

Q: Why couldn't the pony sing himself a lullaby?
A: He was a little hoarse.

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Q: Why are the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
A: Because of all the knights.

Q: What do you call the wife of a hippie?
A: Mississippi.

Q: What kind of lion never roars?
A: A dandelion!

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat what bugs them!

Q: What's a person with no body and no nose called?
A: Nobody knows!

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A: Arrrrrr!
A: No, its' the "C"!

Q: Why did the baby refuse to nap?
A: Because they were resisting arrest!

Q: Why should you never trust an atom?
A: Because they make up everything!

Q: What do you call a beehive without an exit?
A: Unbelievable!

Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.

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Q: What do you call a fish in a tuxedo?
A: So-fish-ticated!

Q: What time do you go to the dentist?
A: At tooth-hurty!

Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A: A bunny ribbit.

Q: How do bees get to school?
A: They take the school buzz!

Q: Why do bananas put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
A: Because they might peel!

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22 more silly jokes for kids

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine.

Q: What kind of music does corn listen to?
A: Pop!

Q: Why did the fast cat get suspended from school?
A: Because he was a cheetah!

Q: What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle's back?
A: Wheeee!

Q: Why did the lawyer go to work in her bathrobe?
A: She forgot her lawsuit!

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Q: What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A: A milk shake!

Q: What do math teachers normally eat for dessert?
A: Pi!

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A: Frostbite!

Q: Why is the calendar afraid?
A: Because its days are numbered!

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Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: Because he was looking for Pooh.

Q: Why did the farmer put hay in his bed?
A: To feed his nightmares!

Q: How does the ocean say "hello" to the beach?
A: It waves!

Q: How do you throw a space party?
A: You planet!

Q: What's a math teacher's favorite sport?
A: Figure skating!

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Q: Where do snowballs keep their money?
A: In the snowbank!

Q: Where do plates go dancing?
A: To the dish-co!

Q: Why didn't the tea talk to anyone at the party?
A: He was a little chai!

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: It wasn't peeling well!

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Between you and me, something smells!

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Q: What shoes do spies wear?
A: Sneakers!

Q: What do you call James Bond when he's taking a bath?
A: Bubble 07!

6 longer jokes for kids

A baby snake asks his mom, "Mom, are we poisonous?" His mother says, "Why do you want to know?" The baby replies, "Because I just bit my tongue."

Did you hear there was a new restaurant that opened up on the moon? I hear the food is great, but it has no atmosphere.

A child came home from school and said to her mother, "I wish my teacher was a train." "Why?" her mother asked. "Because the school teacher says, 'Spit your gum out,' but a train just says 'Chew, chew!'"

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A bank robber pulls out a toy gun and says to the teller, "give me your money or you're geography." The teller asks, "Did you mean to say, 'Or you're history?'" "Don't change the subject!" the robber says. 

A kid finds a magic lamp and rubs it until a genie appears. The genie grants him one wish. "I want to be rich," the kid says. Then the genie says, "So what's your second wish, Rich?"

Last week I went to the store to get six cans of Sprite. When I got home I realized I had picked 7-Up.

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Betsy Shaw
Betsy Shaw has contributed to BabyCenter as a writer and editor for more than 10 years. She authored the popular Babes in the Woods series, and now edits articles from parent contributors and writes about baby names.