Every parent knows this scenario: Your toddler gives all the signals of being exhausted and needing sleep – they yawn and rub their eyes, flop on the floor, and burst into tears of frustration when their block tower collapses – but they still won't go down for a nap.
Why your toddler won't nap
Toddlers fight the urge to rest simply because they're so interested in what's going on around them. Your curious toddler has so much to see and do, and they're afraid that if they nap, they'll miss out on something.
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Your toddler is also beginning to understand that they're separate from you and are their own person, so they assert their independence whenever they can. Refusing to take a nap is one way your toddler may try to wrest control from you.
This budding independence is a normal part of toddler development and doesn't necessarily mean your child is ready to drop naps, though it can be challenging to convince them to rest.
Toddlers between the ages of 1 and 2 need about 11 to 14 hours of sleep in a 24-hour period, including one or two daytime naps. Between the ages of 10 to 18 months, most toddlers will condense these two naps into one longer afternoon nap that may range from 90 minutes to three hours.
Research shows that naps are essential for their emotional, physical, and mental development, so it's in your child’s best interest to keep napping as long as possible.
Most kids won't stop napping altogether until between the ages of 3 and 5, though some children may drop naps sooner. If your child is getting adequate sleep at night, seems rested during the day, and isn't showing signs of behavioral problems (like having a meltdown) in the afternoon or evening, they may be ready to drop naps completely.
This can happen for some kids as young as 2 years old, but most kids will still need naps for quite a bit longer. Of course, every child is different, and how long your toddler keeps napping can vary depending on how well they sleep at night and their individual temperament.
Signs your toddler may be ready to stop napping
Here are some ways to tell that your toddler may be ready to drop the naps:
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- Difficulty falling asleep at their normal bedtime
- Waking up too early in the morning
- Little to no signs of sleepiness or irritability on days they don't nap
- Not sleeping during naptime
Signs your toddler still needs to nap
On the other hand, here are some signs your toddler isn’t ready to give up naps just yet:
- Falling asleep readily when given the opportunity, even if they fight naps
- Frequent tantrums or hyperactivity if they miss a nap
- Often falling asleep on car rides or when they are inactive
- Showing sleep cues like rubbing the eyes, whining, having a glazed-over look, or yawning
What to do if your toddler refuses to nap
How can you manage a strong-willed toddler who won’t go down for a nap? Here are some tactics you can try:
Scale back your expectations
As a baby, your child probably napped two or three times a day, but as a toddler, they'll move to one nap a day. By 18 months or so, your toddler probably won't be napping in the morning.
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When you phase out the morning nap, try moving the afternoon nap earlier, to just after lunch. Waiting till later may push bedtime until too late at night, since your child won't feel like sleeping just a few hours after waking from an afternoon nap.
Keep nap time consistent from day to day
Toddlers need routine to feel secure. If your child goes through the same steps each day, they'll know what to expect, and hopefully be more willing to go along with the routine. If you usually read two books before tucking your toddler in, for example, make sure you don't skip that activity even if you're pressed for time.
If your toddler stays home with you or another caregiver, make sure they nap in the same place they sleep at night. Don't give in to demands to nap on the couch or in your bed. This will help your child associate their own crib with sleep and help them wind down more quickly.
If your toddler attends daycare or preschool and naps there, try to follow the same routine both there and at home. If your toddler has a special lovey they sleep with, make sure they have it at daycare, but also bring it home (or have an equally important stuffie for home).
Encourage your toddler to fall asleep without your help
Once your child has mastered drifting off on their own during bedtime without being rocked, nursed, or lulled to sleep, they'll be able to do so during the day. If you haven't tried sleep training, it's not too late – or if you previously sleep trained your toddler when they were younger, a refresher course may help them.
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Stay firm but calm
Although it's frustrating having to deal with a toddler who won't nap, the best thing you can do is avoid reacting strongly or letting them know they're getting to you.
Try to steer clear of making naptime a battleground. Just say that they seem tired and need to rest, and you do too. Then give your child a hug and kiss, tuck them in, and leave the room.
If your toddler cries, check in and try to offer some comfort, but don't lie down with your little one. If you do, your child will get used to falling asleep with you there, and you'll have another problem on your hands.
Try quiet time instead
If your toddler absolutely refuses to nap, leave them with some toys and books and explain that it's quiet time. Although your child won't feel as rested as if they'd slept, having an hour or two free of rambunctious play can at least shore up their energy.
